pondering_c is restless.

hello goodbye.

well folks i'm moving again. there's a good chance I will lose my four readers by changing my address again but let's be honest...my blog is lame these days and you probably won't miss it. 

so due to my lack of activity, the $5 a month i pay for typepad and my impending paycut/layoff/why does my management suck so bad event (really i don't know what's going to happen!). i'm moving over to wordpress. you can find me at www.ponderingc.wordpress.com. i promise to stay there forever or until i get a hankering to move again. 

yes, i said hankering. 

this will be up for a week or two but i'm guessing when i take my credit card back they will yank my last year of history away. bastards. 

the strawberries are here!

yesterday i got some strawberries at the farmer's market and i'm totally giddy about it. i'm telling you there's something about fruit season that just makes me happy. maybe it's because i've had two homemade strawberry shakes and a made strawberry scones this morning. 

yay for strawberries. 

so not much has been up lately. work. rain. trying to start a decent,manageable exercise routine. you know the song and dance. 

a yoga studio just opened right down the street. yesterday i went to an intro session that was totally awesome. i'm planning on going to a couple of classes this week. 

still working on the kitchen. i'm estimating early august as our completion date. sigh. 

i have officially been accepted to graduate school i'm just waiting to hear if there are professors who will customize my degree plan. just waiting. 

going to branson this weekend with the family. hoping for a little bit of relaxation. hoping. 

i've become so lame at this blogging business...later. 

my friend apple.

our iMac (aka big apple desktop) died earlier this week and it was pretty traumatic because e needs it for school and we're a two computer family that has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. this computer is about 3.5 years old, was purchased from a friend at an awesome price and currently out of warranty. 

when i took it to my local apple authorized repair shop they knew immediately what the problem was...bulging capacitors. awesome. i was told it was a common problem during that time frame of production. so i hear a couple of days ago that i need a new logic board because of my bulging capacitors and the cost will be right around $500. ouch.  he also mentioned that my logic board was replaced in 2007 as well (key point for later conversation). he suggests i call apple, they might help me out or they might not. 

i google. i read forums. i fret. it appears that apple is pretty greedy with this issue (as in no one gets this fixed out of warranty) and i'm feeling pretty sure i need to plan on spending $500. but i call, and i take the super nice, can you help me approach. no bitching allowed. 

so i call this morning. nice man. i give him the facts and just wonder if apple can help me out it any way. he puts me on hold. comes back and says sorry it's out of warranty and past the time when they were fixing this bad issue. hmmm. i then remember the part replaced in 2007 and ask what the timeframe is for guaranteeing those parts. 90 days he says. 90 days guarantee on a part, a $500 part, really, that's a bit disheartening i say. and then he says, hold on i'm going to talk to one more person and i make no promises. 

low and behold he comes back and they are going to cover the costs. hot dog. i'm telling you being nice is a pain the arse sometimes but this worked out very nicely for me. 

apple i'm glad we can stay friends because last night i was totally doubting  you. and felt a little disheartened. i like your stuff, it's super cool. but i really need it to last. and i ponder my windows options and i feel like i'm backed into a computer corner with no choices other than pay for your cool, really great products and pray they work or fight with vista. in the end i know that you will always win but i'm glad i can now be your friend. 

april showers bring may showers.

so i'm alive and well. and 34. and thinking i really need to utilize this blog since i do pay for it and all. yeah, i know it's stupid to pay for a blog. don't harass me. 

anyway, a brief update on the last month. 

i've been accepted to ou grad school. i need to feel out some paperwork outlining my objectives and i'm totally stressed out about it and it's stupid to be stressed about it. and that just pisses me off. 

i've eaten four cookies and had two big cups of coffee today. not good for my stress level. 

my imac of two years is sick and could potentially cost me $500. yay. 

my trip to nyc was awesome. and fun. and tiring. and awesome. 

my birthday was great. good fun. cupcakes. and a kitchen aid mixer is on it's way to momma. look out my baking will never be the same. 

gluten free me has gone away for now. i honestly don't know if it was beneficial for me or not but i think there's some value in it so the plan is to cut back. 

i'm going to branson with my family in a few weeks. pray for me now.

and lastly i'm tired of the rain. come back sun. i promise i will go for a walk. 

until next month. 

april is the new december.

this has been a crazy month. crazy. i started painting my kitchen weeks ago and i've not touched it in weeks. there was the hospital. and an outing for fort worth and easter and a broken faucet and a broken dryer and a lot of working. and this weekend i'm going on a random trip to nyc. and i'm turning 34 in a couple of weeks.

wow nellie. eddie claims it's mostly self-inflicted (which is true) but i'm starting to get a little wore out from it all.

oh and i'm now in my third week eating gluten free. which has been in easier than i thought it would be except for the couple of times that i've been so frustrated about what i can and can't eat that i've opted for a corn tortilla for dinner. i don't know if it's really helped because i'm on my period and it feels like someone has wadded up my insides yet again. but i'm not going to give up because i still need to make an effort to eliminate caffeine and milk. which i just realized i only had a small cup of coffee this morning and now have a headache...is there a connection? hmmmm? i thought it was allergies but i generally drink a bit more than that normally. i digress. so gluten out, more salad in and i'm guessing and knowing this is a good thing. 

i also submitted my application to ou last week. i know it has been received and they've requested additional info on what i want to "study." which is bizarre that they want to know if they can meet my educational needs. i'm excited, scared, and over thinking the situation.i'm putting it on my calendar for next week to worry about. i need to do a little more research and gather my thoughts. 

in the meantime i'll be looking for one of these in nyc. 

tea what?

okay, so i know this is totally buying into the crazy liberal media, which is just on the opposite end of the spectrum of the crazy right wing conservatives. both of which drive me insane. but seriously it's so funny.

 

back to the future.

lately due the facebook phenomenon i've connected with some old friends. one is one that i thought was lost forever. and i hit the jackpot with a whole bunch of my old bsu friends. and i'm happy to report that most of them are still good baptists. 

one of them left a comment for me that ended with "i pray that you are well." and i've been wondering...what in the world does that mean. are you praying that i will become well. or can your prayers be retroactive and make me well if i haven't been. 

just wondering. 

just settle in.

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.”
-- Thomas Merton, Journal, October 2, 1958

so what's up?

well. it's been a crazy few weeks and lord willing all will settle down. 

but first i have to make my clothes dryer start drying again. and i need to get cabinet doors back on my kitchen cabinets. and then there's a trip to fort worth this weekend. never mind, things are not settling down. i can just hope that there are no more medical mishaps on the horizon. 

my grandpa had his open heart surgery on friday and i'm happy to report that he is doing great. complaining of a little pain when he coughs but really they cut open his chest and pulled out his heart...a little pain is expected. yes.

i think the waiting with my family was probably more traumatic than the idea of the surgery. as eddie and i were driving to fort smith i thought, i'm driving straight toward an emotional hot bed. my father, you know the totally effed up one, who uses and abuses my grandparents, my half-brothers who are a generation younger than me, who I barely know. they were all there. and in some ways it was good. in other ways not so good. 

today i went back to work and it was really tiring. just going was tiring.  

i've been pondering lately my diet. and my gaining. and my need to monitor what i'm eating for the sake of feeling good. and i don't just mean french fries. i'm aware that coffee, gluten and dairy all could effect me in very adverse ways i've just been unwilling to tackle it. my guess is i just don't feel bad enough. and i wonder at what point will I? and how depressed do i have to be before i get there? 

so i'm a little stressed about it all. and tired of thinking about it. and bored with food. and wanting someone to help me tackle a food plan that will work for me. removing wheat and dairy is a totally daunting task. 

and then there's the rice noodles that i've had for a month. they taunt me. "we're so easy, yet you're so lazy." cursed rice noodles. 

but i'm happy to report i went for a walk tonight, listened to a little augustana and you know what...i loved every second of it. yay for spring and the friendly walking path right by my house. 

and in honor of spring and easter and gross marshmallows some peep pics. 

worry wart.

“The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

as a worrier i ask myself, what's the point really? because rarely do the things i worry about come true. 

just something to ponder.