well. it's been a crazy few weeks and lord willing all will settle down.
but first i have to make my clothes dryer start drying again. and i need to get cabinet doors back on my kitchen cabinets. and then there's a trip to fort worth this weekend. never mind, things are not settling down. i can just hope that there are no more medical mishaps on the horizon.
my grandpa had his open heart surgery on friday and i'm happy to report that he is doing great. complaining of a little pain when he coughs but really they cut open his chest and pulled out his heart...a little pain is expected. yes.
i think the waiting with my family was probably more traumatic than the idea of the surgery. as eddie and i were driving to fort smith i thought, i'm driving straight toward an emotional hot bed. my father, you know the totally effed up one, who uses and abuses my grandparents, my half-brothers who are a generation younger than me, who I barely know. they were all there. and in some ways it was good. in other ways not so good.
today i went back to work and it was really tiring. just going was tiring.
i've been pondering lately my diet. and my gaining. and my need to monitor what i'm eating for the sake of feeling good. and i don't just mean french fries. i'm aware that coffee, gluten and dairy all could effect me in very adverse ways i've just been unwilling to tackle it. my guess is i just don't feel bad enough. and i wonder at what point will I? and how depressed do i have to be before i get there?
so i'm a little stressed about it all. and tired of thinking about it. and bored with food. and wanting someone to help me tackle a food plan that will work for me. removing wheat and dairy is a totally daunting task.
and then there's the rice noodles that i've had for a month. they taunt me. "we're so easy, yet you're so lazy." cursed rice noodles.
but i'm happy to report i went for a walk tonight, listened to a little augustana and you know what...i loved every second of it. yay for spring and the friendly walking path right by my house.
and in honor of spring and easter and gross marshmallows some
peep pics.